This Halloween season we decided to bring you the best of the worst horror movies we know. Whether overly gory, absurdly predictable or just straight silly, we love to hate ’em! The Official Sinners put together a list of their favorite horror flicks that can only be described as “so bad, they’re good”. Here are our TOP 20 picks:
Picks by Andres Schiffino
- Orgy of the Dead (1965)
Legendary B-movie filmmaker Ed Wood wrote this screenplay about a horror writer who takes his girlfriend to a cemetery late at night to get inspiration for his next book. There they stumble upon a bizarre scene in which a mysterious figure known as the Emperor oversees a burlesque review of undead dancers performing bump and grind routines. Meanwhile, a wisecracking duo of a werewolf and mummy provide running commentary on the naughty hijinks. The lack of plot to focus on and the mix of sexy babes and monsters makes this film perfect for playing in the background of a Halloween party.
- Blood Freak (1972)
The film that dares to show you the dangers of doing drugs! A Vietnam War vet is turned on to the underground drug culture by a couple of groovy chicks. After smoking his first joint, he becomes a hopeless addict to marijuana. To feed his addiction, he agrees to be a guinea pig in an experiment testing out chemically altered turkey meat. The side effects are severe, and he wakes up to find his own head replaced with that of a giant turkey. His drug addiction now switched to a lust for drinking blood, the feathered fiend goes on a killing spree. Blood Freak was intended to be Christian propaganda designed to steer kids away from drugs and move them towards Jesus but getting stoned helps with the enjoyment of this movie.
- Spookies (1986)
You want monsters? Spookies gives you monsters. In this film you’ll get zombies, a grim reaper, a spider woman, reptilian creatures, a werecat with a hook for a hand, a demon possessed woman, an evil sorcerer, an octopus with electric tentacles, a wicked witch, a fanged, green skinned boy in a Jawal hood, and muckmen who make fart sounds when they walk. What you won’t get are good acting and a coherent plot.
- Hack-O-Lantern (1989)
An elderly pumpkin farmer and devil worshipper grooms his grandson to become a killer to perform a human sacrifice on Halloween. Bollywood director Jag Mundhra was hired to helm this film despite not knowing a thing about Halloween, horror films or American culture in general. The result is an absolute bonkers mix of odd ideas such as the Hindu goddess Kali dancing with severed heads to a heavy metal band, a comedian performing a stand-up routine randomly inserted into the film, bad special effects, gratuitous nudity, and confusing plot twists.
- Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)
Ernest battles a horde of evil trolls (the fantasy kind, not the online ones) whose dastardly plan is to kidnap children and drain them of their energy. As a kid, these trolls were pretty fucking scary. If the trolls look familiar, they are repurposed props from the cult classic Killer Klowns from Outer Space. This film can be paired in a double feature with Hocus Pocus if you’re looking for films age-appropriate to show creepy kids before they move on to the heavier stuff.
Picks by Sin Dee Sugar
- Scream Queens (TV Series 2015)
Ok, I’m breaking the rules here since this is not a movie but it’s too good to exclude (plus I’m the boss around here!). If 90’s cult classics Clueless and Scream were to have a baby, it’d be Scream Queens. It’s chock full of Horror Queens like Jamie Lee Curtis, and Billie Lourd and Emma Roberts of AHS fame — to name a few. A crew of sociopathic sorority brats, get stalked by a serial killer and also become killers of their own. It’s easily binge-able, so I recommend you dedicate a weekend to watching everyone on Scream Queens take each other out.
- Splatter (2009)
I love this one so much it also appeared on last year’s Halloween Horror Flicks list.
Corey Feldman is the undead lead singer of a glam metal band, who is out to get revenge on the greedy crew that drove him to splatter his brains on the wall. The entire film is only 29 minutes long, so you really don’t have to suffer through too much.
- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)
My favorite horror film is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974). It checks off all the classic slasher expectations. Part 2 however, is so unrealistic it’s silly. This one takes place mostly in a rockin’ radio station starring Bill Mosley as “Chop Top” Sawyer. A groovy Vietnam vet with a metal plate in his head and pal to Leatherface. None of it really makes sense, but it’s a delight to watch.
- The New York Ripper (1982)
A terrible 80’s slasher flick with a huge twist. The killer speaks in a Donald Duck style quack. You won’t be able to stop yourself from laughing each time you hear the slasher’s voice. This movie can’t be taken seriously.
- You Might Be the Killer (2008)
A parody of the “Unknown Caller” horror genre, our leading lady Chuck (Alyson Hannigan) instead receives a call from someone she knows. On the other end is her friend Sam (Fran Kranz) who confides in her that he might be the killer attacking the camp he’s a counselor at… but he’s not too sure. Chuck who works at probably the last existing video rental shop, talks him through the qualifications of a killer based on her deep horror movie knowledge. Questions like “are you covered in blood?” and “are you wearing some kind of creepy mask?” help solve the pretty obvious conclusion of whether or not Sam might be the killer.
- The Hug (2018)
This is a short film (5 minutes to be exact), but worth the quick trip. If the animatronic Chuck E Cheese band gave you chills as a kid you might have nightmares for days.
Picks by Gina Rizzi
- Jaws 3D (1983)
It’s so bad. It’s silly to watch Jaws in 3D!
- Troll 1 (1986)
This is my fav! The jokes are bad and trolls are creepy naturally.
- Troll 2 (1992)
I love the original Troll so I had to see this mess of a movie.
- FeardotCom (2002)
I thought it was gonna be good because of the plot, but it was very boring for me.
Picks by Lauryn Yovino
- Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)
Billy Zane and Jada Pinkett Smith are amazing.
- Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)
Why? Gotta’ be the 80’s special effects, props, costumes, and weirdness level.
- House of Wax (1953)
I watched this when I was 8 or so and I remember it scared the shit out of me.
- The Human Centipede (2009)
Just eww, but it’s so horrifying to think about.
Both of these Official Sinners agreed on one particularly bad/good film. So, by popular demand it made it to the top of this year’s Halloween Horror Flicks list:
- Sharknado (2013)
Gina explained “Steve from 90210 is in it. Need I say more?”, while Lauryn emphasized “It’s sharks and a tornado? Heck yes!”
According to the Washington Post the origin of this cult franchise was an inside joke…
“…the term was actually a throwaway line in another Syfy movie, “Leprechaun’s Revenge.”
“There’s this town in the movie that’s, I guess, being besieged by leprechauns . . . and somebody says: ‘Gosh, I hope we don’t go the way of that other town. They never recovered after the sharknado hit,’ ” writer Thunder Levin told Vice. “One of the execs at Syfy, that stuck with them and they thought, ‘Hey, we should make a movie called “Sharknado!” ’ ”Washington Post | August 20, 2018
We hope you enjoyed our list of horrific guilty pleasures!
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